


Dear Diary

by Smidge



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 19:20:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 12,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2703530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smidge/pseuds/Smidge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex stumbles across the Christmas diary she kept throughout December last year.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I began to write this story last year but hadn't completed it in time for the beginning of December so, I have written more this year - however I have added the idea that Alex has rediscovered the Christmas diary she wrote last year so that it all makes more sense :)
> 
> But I only have enough written for this week, so far, and I have lots of work coming up at drama school before the end of term so if I don't manage to post a new chapter each day I apologise in advance but I will definitely post 25 chapters by the end (some days you may not get any but a few days later you should get more than one when I've caught up ;) ... hopefully)!
> 
> It's all just a fun bit of fluff really :)
> 
> Enjoy!x

Date: 1st December 2013

Mood: Reminiscent

Listening to: Fairytale of New York

I can hardly believe it is December already. The Christmas lights are up all over town, the shops are full to the brim with gifts and nights feel warm; even with the winter chill in the air.

It’s that time of year when you tend to look back over what you have achieved, what wonderful opportunities have passed your way, what perfect things have come into your life. If you’d have told me where I’d be now, this time last year, I’d have never believed you. But then, it’s always like that I guess. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Salome decided to start putting the Christmas decorations up today. ‘It’s December Mommy,” she’d said, “it’s Christmas. We _have_ to have decorations.” I gave in and showed her where we kept the boxes of tinsel and ornaments and helped her with the tree; the rest is up to her.

 _I_ have decided to keep an account of Christmas and the days leading up to it and thought I’d add some of my favourite memories from the past few years. To start, I go back to last New Year’s Eve...

~~~

_It’s five to midnight, New Year’s Eve 2012. The stars shine bright and the night is nippy; everyone huddled together and chatting merrily, dressed in thick coats with woollen scarves and gloves with amusing hats; noses pink and breath coming out in short puffy clouds as they wait for the countdown to begin._

_“Thought I’d find you here,” Alex beams as she rubs her hands together and hides adorably in her scarf to keep out the chill._

_“Well, you thought correctly, as always,” Matt smiles, patting the bench beside him in invitation._

_“Why aren’t you up celebrating with the others, sweetie?” she takes the proffered seat, glancing out across the garden to where the rest of the party are gathered._

_“I will,” he nods, raising his eyes to the star studded sky, “I was just... thinking.”_

_“Oh dear, that sounds dangerous, darling,” she teases, “are you sure you should be doing that without supervision?”_

_He nudges her in the side good-naturedly and she giggles._

_“What were you thinking about?” she follows his eyes to the sky and snuggles into his side in an attempt to steal his heat._

_“You,” he replies simply, his eyes unmoving._

_“Me?” she sits back from him in surprise and stares at him._

_He nods silently before sighing and pulling her back into his side._

_“Why?” she asks quietly, worrying her bottom lip._

_He is silent for a while, contemplating how best to reply and she fidgets in his arms._

_“Because, I like you,” he decides to just come out with it; it’s New Year after all._

_She smiles fondly up at him. “I like you too, darling.”_

_“No, but... I mean I like you like you,” he runs a nervous hand through his hair._

_“You...?” The crowd start the countdown as she stares at him again, almost speechless. “You do?”_

_“Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven... Six...”_

_“Mmmhmm,” he nods again, a smile slowly creeping across his face as he gazes down at her._

_“Five... Four... Three...”_

_“Matt...” she breathes, so close to him that their breaths are merging._

_“Two...”_

_“Alex,” he replies with confidence, before surging forward._

_“One...”_

_He closes the gap between them as people shout their ‘Happy New Year’s to each other, pressing his lips ever so gently to hers and humming in delight._

_Startled to begin with, Alex almost pulls away. But the warmth of his lips against hers soon permeates throughout her body; warming her insides and pooling in her belly, and she whimpers before wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer and kissing him back._

_They jump apart as the first firework explodes in the sky above them, giggling and beaming._

_“Happy New Year, Kingston.”_

_“Happy New Year, darling.”_

~~~

... That was our first real kiss, and the stars were the only others to witness it.


	2. Two

Date: 2nd December 2013

Mood: Overwhelmed

Listening to: It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Although I realised yesterday that December was now upon us, the weight of that realisation didn’t really hit me until this morning. I have done absolutely nothing about Christmas shopping; I don’t even know what Salome wants – well I know a few things, but nothing sensible or affordable. And then there’s Matt; I know he’ll say that I’m enough for Christmas but I want to get him something special as it’s our first Christmas _together_ together.

So, I need to shop; not only for presents but also for food. I need to make sure Salome has something to wear when we go to my parents’ for a huge family Christmas meal in a couple of weeks – and Matt, for that matter. The Christmas pudding needs finishing and cakes and mince pies need making. The decorations need a little adjustment, to at least make each room colour co-ordinated, if nothing else (honestly though, Sal did a marvellous job, bless her heart).

Matt came home early from work today and ‘helped’ me make a Christmas list of everything that needs to be done. Well, I say helped, really all he did was dance around the room to Christmas songs, gesticulate about the show he is currently rehearsing for and remind me perfectly of the first moment we met each other...

...

_“Good morning, Alex,” Steven beams as he welcomes her into the read-through room, “Meet your new Doctor, Matt Smith. Matt, this is Alex...”_

_“Kingston. I know exactly who she is,” Matt takes her hand warmly in his, “And may I just say, what an honour it is to be working with you,” he raises her hand to his lips as he finishes speaking, dropping a delicate kiss to her knuckles._

_“How charming,” she aims the statement at Steven, but can’t seem to take her eyes off the young man in front of her, as she feels the warmth from his lips melt through her skin and send tingles down her spine._

_..._

It may have been a brief introduction, but it was sweet; and has been ever since.

Now then, I must get some work done; I’d like to have made a fair dent in this list by the weekend.


	3. Three

Date: 3rd December 2013

Mood: Sympathetic

Listening to: Step into Christmas

Woke up this morning to pretty frost patterns on the windows, and on the car when taking Salome to school. I love this time of year with the crisp, cold mornings; still dark outside when you begin the day and dark again by the time you return home. I love coming home to a warm house, cooking a filling dinner and curling up cosily together on the sofa.

Salome slipped on the ice at school today though; nothing wounded but her pride, fortunately, but it reminded me of all the times I have picked Matt up after a fall at work. Bless him, but he is such a clumsy young man, and very skittish too; whenever the special effects team set off explosions on the TARDIS or in an action scene around him, he gets very jumpy and often knocks things over. He manages to cover that with the character he’s given the Doctor very well, I’ll give him credit.

No doubt Matt would tell stories of his injuries in a more elaborate way but usually it is his fault, just because he can never seem to control his gangly limbs; although there are some occasions he seems to know exactly what to do with them – if you know what I mean ;-)

A typical scenario in which Matt has hurt himself would look a lot like this one...

...

_“Oh, you silly boy,” Alex sighs and shakes her head, taking his hand and guiding him to her trailer. “Come with me, I’ll fix you up.”_

_She’d walked in on him pouting and rubbing his forehead as Karen teased him and Arthur just laughed. Apparently, he’d walked into a lamp post on the way into work, and although his closest friends found it hilarious, Alex looked at him in concern, although slightly amused, and thought it best to make sure he was okay._

_“They’re so mean to me, Kingston,” he grumbles as she sits him down and rummages through her cupboards for a first aid kit._

_“_ They _didn’t walk you into the lamp post, darling, you did that all by yourself,” she hides her smile as she finds what she needs. “Here we are.”_

_She rubs some cream onto the area he knocked, easily visible now by the reddish mark that had started to form, then adds a plaster for good measure._

_“All better,” she drops a soft kiss to his forehead and runs gentle fingers through his hair before packing away._

_He mumbles his response, in the pretence of still feeling hurt and teased, but his heart suddenly feels lighter at her affections._

_..._

... He’ll probably deny any mention of that ever happening, but I found him adorable even back then; before even our first kiss _on_ set, let alone _off_ set.


	4. Four

Date: 4th December 2013

Mood: Nostalgic

Listening to: Merry Xmas Everybody

Matt came home late this evening. He’d been shooting for the Christmas episode of Who – rounding up the last bits of footage they needed. He’d thought his last day was last month – which is when I came in to support him and everyone saw him off; it’s emotionally confusing when you get called back to reshoot little bits here and there.

“Missed you today,” he mumbled as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, nuzzling into my neck as I leant back into his embrace.

“Me too, darling.”

“Couldn’t stop thinking about our first kiss...”

“Really? I wrote about that in my diary the other day,” I’d mentioned, “And how we’d sprung apart at the fireworks before...”

“No!” He cut me off. “I mean our _first_ kiss – in Stormcage.”

“Oh, you mean River and the Doctor’s first kiss.”

“It was our first kiss too, Kingston...”

...

_Alex licks her lips nervously as she takes up position in the make-shift Stormcage cell, her hand resting on the bar to keep her upright – she has a feeling she is going to need it. Today is the day they shoot the Doctor and River’s first kiss (well, the Doctor’s first; possibly River’s last). And, although they’re only acting, she is still concerned she is going to lose her grasp on her character and fiction will bleed through to reality – there’s such a thin line there anyway – she cares for Matt greatly and has found herself regrettably falling for him; when she is sure he doesn’t feel anything back._

_She glances up at Matt and notes his concentration before his eyes meet hers and the frown falls away. He winks. Then the director calls for silence on set and action._

_Matt says the Doctor’s lines perfectly and as he walks away, Alex kicks in with River’s lines. “What? Is that all?”_

_“Why?” He spins towards her and her heart leaps into her throat – she knows what happens next and she’s not sure she’s ready for it. “Did I forget something?” He saunters back towards her._

_Shit! Just gotta go for it Alex, she tells herself. She knows she’s not in character any more – she can’t concentrate with him so close and knowing what she is supposed to do next. So she just says it, “Oh, shutup.” Pulling him close by the lapel of his jacket and crashing their lips together._

_She was right, she does need that bar to hold her up – he makes a sound of pleasure in the back of his throat and her knees almost buckle. She clings on to him for dear life and whimpers, noting that he’s broken character too; wrapping his arms around her tiny waist and hauling her closer still._

_Their lips just part, inviting each other to explore further when the director calls ‘cut’. She only just hears him over the sound of blood pumping through her veins and wishes they could just stay like that before Matt pulls away._

_They stare at each other, breathless, and realise that something new has passed between them._

_They don’t have time to talk or act on it, however, as the director tells them what went wrong and calls for action again. This time they are ready and both just manage to remain in character, and after a couple more shots, the scene is done._

...

... It was really our first kiss, I suppose, as neither of us were in character when we kissed the first time and both of us had the same reactions and secretly wanted more. But it still took another... what?... three years?... before one of us (Matt) finally plucked up the courage to do something about it.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since the last one! You will get all 25 by Christmas :)
> 
> Here is a slightly longer, slightly more fun chapter to make up for it ;)
> 
> Enjoy x

Date: 5th December 2013

Mood: Creative

Listening to: We wish you a Merry Christmas

I spent the entire day baking mince pies and gingerbread men and other tasty Christmas treats while Sal was at school today!

Well, alright, _almost_ the entire day... I may have had a moment's distraction when Matt tried to 'assist'...

Okay more than a moment. But I was still sensible enough to turn the oven off before allowing Matt to carry me to our room... nothing was burned!

Unlike earlier this year...

~

_"What are you doing?" Matt squeals as he arrives home earlier than expected._

_"Baking Sal's birthday cake before she gets home from school," Alex replies._

_"I can see that! But you were supposed to wait for me!" He kicks off his shoes and rushes across the room to the counter beside her._

_"Sorry darling, I didn't know when you'd be home."_

_"Never mind, I'm here now. What can I do?"_

_"Ummm..." Alex bites her lip as she thinks through the process; there's not much he_ can _actually do without making a mess._

_"How about I do the whizzing while you put the ingredients in," he suggests in delight._

_"Erm, I think I should do that, sweetie, I'd rather have it in the bowl than all over the kitchen."_

_"Oi! Rude!" He gasps indignantly as she chuckles._

_"Let's do it the other way around," she suggests instead, frowning as he pushes away from the counter, walks behind her and ends up on the other side of her. "What are you doing?"_

_"You just said... 'let's do it the other way around'..."_

_"I meant_ you _put the ingredients in and_ I'll _do the mixing, you daft thing," she giggles despite herself as an all-knowing smile beams across Matt's face._

_"Fine," he sobers, taking the eggs from her and cracking them into the bowl. He only drops one; she's secretly impressed._

_After the 'whizzing' is done and the cake is safely sitting in the oven, Alex decides to begin on the washing up. She chats with Matt for a while as she washes bowls and spoons and other baking utensils._

_Until he gets bored._

_"How long does the cake need to be in the oven for?" Matt asks as he hops off the stool by the table and saunters over to Alex at the sink, wrapping his arms around her waist._

_She hums in delight at the contact, leaning back into him slightly as she places another bowl in the drying rack."Another... fifteen minutes-ish," she replies as she glances at the clock._

_"That's plenty of time," he replies lowly; she can hear the intention in his voice and it sends liquid heat, unbidden, between her legs._

_"No, Matthew." She begins sternly._

_"Yes, Alex," he breathes by her ear, taking it in his teeth gently before nibbling down the side of her neck. She arches her back at the sensations tingling down her spine and let's a soft moan escape her lips. "Yes," he rumbles, his hands tightening on her hips in response before spinning her to face him and pressing her back against the counter as his lips seek hers._

_He always seems to know exactly how to turn her on. Kisses on her neck, gently insisting when she pretends she doesn't want to, kissing her passionately with no escape. She just melts against him._

_"We don't have long..." she murmurs between kisses._

_"We don't need long," he replies confidently with a wink and she giggles._

_"I can't leave her cake in too long, it'll burn..."_

_"I won't let it burn." He continues to rain kisses on her, his hands wandering and gradually undoing her blouse._

_"Matt...?" Her voice is low in warning._

_"We won't even leave the kitchen," he assures her as he opens the final button and steps back slightly, admiring the stunning woman in front of him before closing the gap once more and palming her breasts._

_She gives in._

_Whimpering against his lips, she caresses her hand down his chest, over his belt and finally down to the front of his trousers where she begins to rub at the slight bulge already appearing._

_He groans at the contact and breaks their kiss, panting, before spinning them, lifting her up and placing her on the kitchen table._

_"No, Matt. Not on the- "_

_"I'll wash it after," he promises and she gives him a look. He sighs, "and then you can wash it after me." She smiles and he rolls his eyes before placing his hands on her knees and pushing them apart. "I love it when you smell of baking," he starts, then he bends down on his knees, his gentle hands never leaving her skin, and gazes up at her adoringly, "but_ this _is your most delicious smell."He leans forward, his nose between her legs and inhales._

_"Matt..." she whimpers, one hand immediately threading fingers through his hair, subconsciously keeping him close. "Darling, please?"_

_The next moment he's pushed the lace of her knickers to the side to taste her._

_They moan in unison. Matt's sending shivers down Alex's spine._

_Not two minutes later, she has a fist clenched in his hair, rocking her hips against his tongue and shouting obscenities as she comes._

_"Fuck!" She pants as she watches Matt emerge from between her legs, hair tousled and greedily licking his lips._

_"It's good when there's a time limit, isn't it?!?" He winks and she wraps her legs around his waist, pulling him close and dragging his delicious mouth down to hers in response._

~

...Needless to say we got a little carried away after that. Matt turned the timer off so fast when it signalled 'playtime' was over, that we totally forgot about it until a not-so-enticing smell pervaded his senses... Ooops!!


	6. Six

Date: 6th December 2013

Mood: Breathless

Listening to: Little Saint Nick

Matt surprised me today. He surprises me in some way every day to be honest, but this surprise... well...

We kiss alot. I'm not complaining. We've been together almost a year now so it's pretty natural to kiss passionately in bed, or to peck each other on the lips when we leave each other or see each other again.

Today I went shopping and Matt decided he would meet me in town for lunch before he visited an old friend. Which I thought was a lovely idea. He could pay as I seemed to be buying ALL the presents. And he'd get to see what I'd bought for Salome and could give me his opinion.

Little did I remember that today was an anniversary for us! We have so many - Matt likes to celebrate everything - that I can hardly keep track of our official ones let alone dates he's made into anniversary worthy events from our filming as the Doctor and River. He celebrates the day we actually first met, the day the we filmed the first kiss, the wedding of the Doctor and River, the day we filmed the Pond's leaving, the day Amy and Arthur actually left... you get the idea.

So, apparently, today was our first anniversary (the first ones are even harder to remember than the others because I don't know, until the first one, that we are even celebrating it) since our kiss in 'the Name of the Doctor' - the last time the Doctor saw River.

That wasn't the surprise. The surprise was the way he greeted me. With a single deep red rose and small box of dark chocolates, which he knows are my favourite; he's bought them for me before. And a kiss. But not any kiss. He kissed me like he did during 'the Name of the Doctor'... he completely took my breath away...

~

_She thought knew what was coming, they'd rehearsed it many times. Matt was an exceptionally good kisser, especially compared to some people she'd had to kiss in her acting career. She was rather looking forward to it to be perfectly honest. Sadly this is the last episode they are filming together, but at least they have one more kiss to end it all with._

_They'd filmed all the dialogue earlier in the day and now all they needed to film was the kiss and a few last bits with the Doctor and Clara._

_The attempted slap and words that go with it had been shot that morning, but she stands on her mark and lifts her hand to the point at which she thinks it had been in the earlier filming. Then Matt steps onto his mark and holds her wrist, with continuity checking everything is in order._

_She was expecting he would still say his last line before the kiss, but as the director called 'action' and she gazed up at him he completely took her by surprise, gazing back for a fraction of a second before dropping her wrist and burying his hands deep in her curls, crushing his lips to hers desperately._

_Her eyes close as her heart speeds up and her head starts to spin._

_His hands slip back further and he curls gentle fingers around the back of her head and neck, drawing her in. Then he parts from her momentarily before recapturing her lips._

_She feels drunk on him._

_Lost in his kiss._

_She never wants it to end._

_No one has_ ever _kissed her like this before._

_All too soon he pulls back. Everything seems to happen in slow-motion and yet it's too fast for her to react to. It's confusing and beautiful and she doesn't know what to do._

_'Breathe Alex' she manages to remind herself and realises he has completely taken her breath away._

_His hands slide forwards and his thumbs caress her cheeks as they gaze into each other's eyes. She can barely move, let alone breathe, right now._

_~_

...He can kiss me like that again and again, absolutely anytime he feels like it!


	7. Seven

Date: 7th December 2013

Mood: Romanced

Listening to: Mistletoe and Wine

I managed to get the rest of my Christmas shopping done today; a very successful afternoon. I celebrated by treating myself to a mince pie and mulled wine in the corner cafe, sitting outside to bask in the remaining sunshine.

It has been such a bright and beautiful day it reminded me of the summer holiday Matt took me on to the Lake District...

~

_"Come on, Kingston, while we're here we have to go rowing - it's so much fun!" Matt encourages Alex as they walk beside the lake in a beautiful National Trust property, eventually she sighs and gives in._

_"As long as you sit perfectly still so as not to overturn the boat, and let me row," she warns him._

_"Noo! No, no, no, that's not right at all! What's the point in that?"he shakes his head in dismay._

_"The_ point _, darling, is to stay inside the boat- "_

_"Well yes of course, but I need to do the rowing."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because that's the way it's done!"_

_"I don't understand..."_

_"I, the man, serenade you, the woman, whilst rowing you across a tranquil lake..."_

_"Oh darling, you are adorable sometimes," she smiles softly._

_"Am I?"_

_"I see why you're so worked up about doing this right, it's very romantic."_

_"That_ is _the point, Kingston," he rolls his eyes and takes her hand, pulling her excitedly towards the boat hire cabin._

_Out on the water Alex's nerves soon relax as Matt rows them very gently across the surface of the lake._

_"I thought you said you were going to serenade me," Alex wonders aloud after a few peaceful minutes._

_"I don't think anyone wants to hear my singing- "_

_"I do!"_

_"It'll scare the ducks away..."_

_"That doesn't bother me," she smiles, the sunlight creating a halo through her hair, "I'd like you to sing to me."_

_"Are you sure, Alex," he speaks seriously, "we've not that long been together and I don't want to frighten you off."_

_"Oh you silly man, I know what you're like, I've heard you sing before and I'm not going anywhere- "_

_"That's 'cause there's no escape, you're surrounded by water..."_

_"I'm not going anywhere because actually you have a really nice voice. Now please, serenade me," she flutters her eyelids as she smiles longingly at him._

_"I'm not sure," he hedges._

_She leans forward in the tiny boat, placing her dainty hands over his on the oars and pressing her lips delicately to his. She bites her bottom lip as she pulls back an inch, quirking an eyebrow to him in question._

_"Alright then," he sighs, "since you asked so nicely."_

_She beams at him and squeezes his hands in hers momentarily._

_"Careful as you sit back, don't rock the boat. And try not to fall out," he chuckles as she swats at him._

_"Now your singing had better be good or I'll push you in," she teases, and he grins as he begins to sing._

_With the soft sound of Matt's voice, the gentle lapping of the water around the edge of the boat, the birds in the sky and the warm light from the sun, a gentle breeze playing with her curls, Alex has never felt more in love._

_~_

... He says the sunlight in my hair makes me look like an angel, but the sun on his face makes him so beautiful sometimes, I think _he_ is the angel.


	8. Eight

Date: 8th December 2013

Mood: Protected

Listening to: Little Drummer Boy

So much for the beautiful sun of yesterday, it all disappeared as the night came upon us. The weather turned cold and wet, lighting flashed through the curtains and illuminated our bedroom as the rumbling clouds thundered overhead.

I hate thunderstorms.

Somehow Salome managed to sleep through it. But I clung to Matt like my life depended on it. He's very good to me like that; always patient, puts up with my strange quirks and irrational fears. I love him all the more for it...

~

_"Matt? Are you awake? Was that a lion?" Alex rolls over in their little tent and grabs his hand for comfort._

_"There are no lions in Dartmoor, Kingston," he yawns, squeezing her hand and closing his eyes again._

_"Then what was that sound?"_

_"What sound?"_

_"That low roaring, rumbling sound..."_

_The wind blows against the sides of the tent and they hear a faint pitter-patter of rain as it starts to fall against the canvas._

_"Was probably thunder," he replies lazily._

_"Thunder!" Alex wriggles herself closer to him and curls both hands around his arm._

_"It's in the distance, love, don't worry," he rests his hand on her waist._

_"At the moment," she replies, "what if it comes closer? We're in a tent, Matt. We'll fry if we get struck by lightning."_

_"We won't- "_

_"And we're surrounded by trees. What if they're struck and catch on fire?!? They might fall on us and crush us."_

_"Oh, Alex, love," he slides his hand up to her face, opening his eyes to see her genuine fear looking back at him. "Who'd have thought a mere thunderstorm would frighten you more than the thought of lions," he tries to distract her._

_"I'd be just as scared if there were lions."_

_"We'll be fine, Alex, honestly," he strokes her cheek and holds her hand close to his chest, "I'd never let anything harm you."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"If I thought we were in any danger, I'd make us move, sweetheart," he assures her. "Now then, try and go back to sleep."_

_He rolls onto his back and closes his eyes once more. But Alex can't even dream about sleeping right now. A flash of lightning lights up the green tent and seconds later the thunder roars above them. Her eyes shoot wide and she becomes still as a statue, her body rigid against Matt's as she clings to his hand._

_He sighs and rolls back to her, throwing both arms around her and pulling her close._

_"It's alright," he murmurs in her ear, dropping a kiss to her forehead._

_Another flash causes her to jump in his arms and he chuckles softly over the sound of more thunder, tucking her head under his chin and pulling the sleeping bag up over her shoulders._

_"I'll look after you. You know I will," he promises. "I'll always take care of you."_

_"I'm scared, Matt," she whimpers, squeezing her eyes shut and attempting to bury herself in his chest._

_"There's nothing to be scared of."_

_There's another flash and a few more seconds later the thunder rumbles again._

_"See," he smiles in her hair, "it's moving away again."_

_She pulls back a little to find the sincerity in his eyes, trembling and terrified._

_"You're safe," he assures her, pecking her on the lips before pulling her back into him. "Thunder can't hurt you. Especially when I'm here to protect you."_

_He strokes soft fingers through her hair and mumbles nonsense to comfort her as the rumblings make their way further and further away from their tent._

_"Matt?" her tiny voice sounds muffled but less fearful._

_"What is it, sweetheart?" he pulls back just enough so they can see each other._

_"I love you."_

_He kisses her on the forehead, the nose and then the lips. "I love you, too." They settle back into each other once more._

_"Thank you," she whispers on a yawn._

_"For what?"_

_"For looking after me," she snuggles into the warm safety of his chest as he wraps his arms tighter around her._

_"Always."_

_~_

...And he always has.


	9. Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so sorry! Coming home for Christmas has been a busier period than I thought I'd would be. I'll try to get all 25 posted by Christmas day :) It's great fun!
> 
> Enjoy x

Date: 9th December 2013

Mood: Caring

Listening to: Baby it's Cold Outside

Salome trudged into the kitchen this morning, eyes streaming and nose running. I threw a box of tissues at her, and her laughter at her dire catching skills soon turned into a coughing fit. I immediately took pity on her, abandoning the pancakes I was frying and checking her forehead with the back of my hand.

I hate it when my baby is ill.

Either of them...

~

_"Ergh, I'm dying, Kingston," Matt groans as he blows his nose and pops another throat lozenge in his mouth to suck on. "And all you do is laugh at me? I hate you," he mumbles._

_"No you don't," Alex smirks, "And you're hardly dying- "_

_"I am!"_

_"You've just got a cold, darling."_

_"It's definitely the flu, I shouldn't be working today," he tells himself, "Why am I here?" he whimpers rhetorically._

_Alex steps closer and feels his forehead with the back of her hand, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as he naturally flinches away from her chilly fingers._

_"You are a little warm," her voice softens in concern._

_"'Tis flu," Matt says resolutely._

_Alex rolls her eyes but manoeuvres him gently to sit down, handing him the tea she had just made for herself, "here, drink this slowly, darling." She smiles at his relieved moan as he wraps his hands around the warm cup. "Just sit here, I'll be right back."_

_After speaking with the director Alex had managed to get the last scene of the day pushed 'til after the weekend and bundled a stuffy, grumpy Matt into her car._

_"Now, you just climb in here," Alex coos as she pulls the duvet back on his bed, "that's it."_

_"How did we get here?" Matt asks in confusion. "How did you get into my flat?"_

_"You gave me the key, sweetie. Now, take your jumper off- "_

_"No!" He wraps his arms around him," it's cold!"_

_"Not under the covers, it's not, darling, and I don't want you burning up while you sleep."_

_He stares at her for a moment, then gives in, clumsily tugging his jumper off over his head as Alex tries to quell the stirring in her stomach at the sight of his stomach and hipbones as his t-shirt almost gets pulled off with it. He throws it on the floor and Alex rolls her eyes before urging him to lay down and pulling the covers up around his shoulders. He sits back up as she bends over to pick his jumper up, getting a good view of her delectable arse, before an almighty sneeze spoils everything._

_"Oh, darling," she spins to face him, her face frowning in concern, "let me get you some tissues." She folds his jumper and places it neatly over a chair in the corner, leaving the room momentarily before returning with a 'mansize' pack of tissues; handing him one before throwing the box to the bedside table._

_He chucks the used, scrunched up tissue at the bin, missing by inches. "You can pick that one up when you're well again," she giggles, "I don't want to get ill too."_

_Matt's chuckles soon turn into a coughing fit and she takes pity on him, sitting on the bed beside him and running her fingers through his hair as he catches his breath. "Although, I'd happily be ill if it meant you felt well again," she changes her mind, pressing her lips against his temple._

_"No, I wouldn't want you to be ill, Kingston," he replies, "then who would look after me?"_

_"Well, you wouldn't need looking after if I was ill instead of you," she barely notices as Matt uses all his strength to pull the duvet out from under her legs and place it over her knees. "You could look after me instead," she suggests quietly._

_"And I would," he resolves, "I wouldn't leave your side until you felt better again."_

_She hums contentedly beside him and he slithers down under the covers further. "Well, I'm not leaving you either," she replies stubbornly._

_"Good," he murmurs, wrapping an arm around her waist and allowing his eyes to close._

_"Matt," she whispers._

_"Mmmhmm?"_

_"Don't fall asleep yet- "_

_"Why not?" He refuses to open his eyes._

_"'Cause..." she tries to pry his arm from her waist so she can slide out of bed but he doesn't relinquish his hold, "Matt! I need to get you soup, and tea and- "_

_"I don't want those..." he snuggles his face into her side and sighs._

_"Yes you do- "_

_"I don't need them." He lifts his eyes without hardly moving and looks up at her beautiful, caring face, "I just need you."_

_Alex smiles despite herself. "You're ill, Matthew, you don't know what you're saying."_

_"Don't care. I just want you to stay here."_

_She sighs and gives in, he can be so persuasive sometimes. "Alright then, I'll stay for a while. Just let me..." she sits up more, pulls her cardigan over her head and tugs her socks off her feet, shoving the duvet down below her hips as she settles back next to him. His arm curls around her waist immediately and he nestles his face in her curls._

_"Can't smell your perfume," she hears his muffled complaint._

_"Well, I did put it on this morning- "_

_"I know, you always do. S'not your fault, I can't smell_ any _thing," he grumbles._

_"It won't be forever, darling," she assures him, absent-mindedly running her fingers up and down his arm over her stomach in a soothing motion._

_"I know." He nuzzles ever closer and Alex is glad she'd taken her jumper off, she feels the heat travel up from her toes; unsure whether it's due to Matt's fever, the duvet or something else entirely. "Thank you, Alex."_

_"For what?"_

_"For taking care of me..."_

~

... And he's looked after me just as well on many an occasion since then.


	10. Ten

Date: 10th December 2013

Mood: Lazy

Listening to: All I want for Christmas is You

We woke up with Sal in our bed this morning. She snores when her sinuses are stuffed up, and fidgets in her sleep so much that she almost ended up sleeping sideways across the bed and kicking both Matt and I out! She’s way too old for us to allow this to happen, but she’s still feeling sorry for herself and it’s nearly Christmas, so we made an exception.

It certainly reminded me how much I appreciate those lazy mornings in bed waking up next to Matt. Just me and him...

~

_Alex flutters her eyes open slowly, yawning and stretching 'til she can feel the headboard with her fingertips and her toes almost reach the end of the bed. Suddenly Matt is leaning over her with his fingers wrapped around her wrists, above her head, a cheeky gleam in his eye and a goofy grin; sending a jolt of heat straight through her body._

_"Goodmorning, sweetie," Alex giggles._

_"You... Are... So... Beautiful," Matt declares between sweet kisses, before sealing their lips together and making her moan in delight._

_He lowers himself down so his body is lying half over hers, skin to skin, with one leg between hers and the other beside her right leg. He pulls back and rests his chin on his arms over her chest, gazing down at her. As soon as he releases her hands she finds her fingers sifting through his hair._

_"I love you," he mumbles sleepily._

_Her fingers cease their movements as her heart flutters and her smile spreads across her face. "I love you, too," she hums. "I especially love when we wake up like this, before Salome, and just cuddle before facing the day."_

_"_ Just _cuddle?" He queries, rolling his hips over hers just once._

_"Mmm, maybe more than cuddle," she purrs, her hands in his hair again, bringing his mouth down to hers._

_He doesn't stay there long, deciding instead to make his way down her body. He licks behind her ear and nibbles gently down her neck, causing her to bite her lip in pleasure and writhe beneath him. He drops tiny kisses across her collarbone and down her chest, her hands tightening in her hair and encouraging him. He pecks a kiss to one nipple before pulling back, interlacing his fingers with hers in his hair and moving them back above her head, pressing her wrists into the pillow._

_He focuses his mouth's attention on her breasts until she lifts her right leg a little, rubbing it between his legs suggestively._

_"Ungh, Alex..." he moans. Switching the game back on her he returns to her breasts and lifts his leg between hers, rubbing his knee against her crotch._

_"Matt, please..." she whimpers, grinding her pelvis into his thigh and wriggling against his hold on her wrists._

_He surges up to kiss her luscious lips before releasing her and shuffling down until he's between her stunning legs. Without giving her a moment to prepare herself, he dives in, holding her hips still and licking her open._

_"Oh god, Matt!" she moans, fighting his grip on her hips and burying her hands in his hair once again. "What if Salome wakes up?"_

_"She won't," he reminds her, "if you're quiet." He winks before continuing his ministrations. Alex immediately grabs the pillow from where Matt had been sleeping and throws it over her face._

_Matt licks her slowly, lovingly, making sure to take his time to appreciate her and really wind her up. But within five minutes, with two fingers inside her and his tongue doing_ things _to her, she hugs the pillow tight over her head to muffle her scream as she comes._

_Once she's finished, he turns his head to drop a kiss to her knee before crawling up her still trembling body and prising the pillow away from her face to kiss her soundly on the lips._

_"God, you're amazing," she pants as they part._

_"So are you," he whispers._

_"You have no idea," she promises with a wink._

_"You could give me some idea," he suggests naughtily._

_She bites her lip as she contemplates him. It is still early, she managed to stay quiet just now so she's sure she can do it again. Sal's not likely to walk in on them. And he is soo delicious. She parts her legs and cradles his hips between them, keeping her eyes on his as she reaches between them and strokes him._

_"Oh, yes you_ are _amazing," he moans._

_"You're not even inside me yet, darling."_

_"Don't need to be..." he pants, "your hands- "_

_She wraps her fingers round him and guides him to her entrance, curling her legs around his waist and welcoming him inside her._

_They keep it slow. Matt moving tenderly over her as they kiss and caress. They could be like that for minutes, they could be like that for hours; neither of them know; neither of them care. Too wrapped up in each other to pay anything else mind._

_~_

... That's the way it should be. That's the way I like to wake up in the mornings - not being shoved out of my own bed by my daughter's hefty foot!


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay 'cause it's so close to Christmas now and I haven't managed to give you one chapter a day, like I hoped I would, here is five chapters today. Then you get another five tomorrow (which is kinda today now...). And the last five on Christmas day (hopefully). I hope this is okay!?!
> 
> Enjoy :) x

Date: 11th December 2013

Mood: Totally In Love

Listening to: Wonderful Christmas Time

I can never describe the warm, tingly feeling that melts through me every time I hear him say those three little words.

‘I love you’

On their own, each word is insignificant, but when he strings them together in that sweet declaration, the effect is monumental. It doesn’t matter the situation.

The time; first thing in the morning, last thing at night or even when I’m busy and it’s totally off-guard and I’m unable to respond. The place; in bed, in the shower, in the kitchen while I’m cooking him dinner, at a party, on the underground and even on set. Whether he sneaks up behind me and whispers it in my ear. Or shouts it just as he’s about to walk through the front door to work. In secret when we’re alone. Or announcing it in front of all our friends.

As soon as that velvety utterance leaves his lips, I’m putty in his arms.

I love him, too; deeply, passionately, unconditionally and completely unexpectedly...

~

_He'd taken her to a fancy restaurant where he held the door, pulled out her chair and paid for the meal. Then up into town to see the 'Phantom of the Opera' in the West End. And now he is opening her door and helping her out of the car as he drops her back home like a gentleman. In a word, this evening's date has been perfect._

_"Oh Matt, I've had such a lovely time tonight," Alex smiles as she approaches her front door, she really doesn't want it to end though, not yet. "Thank you."_

_"No, thank_ you _, Alex, for saying 'yes' and being your perfect, wonderful self."_

_"You know what, I think this has been the best Valentine's Day I've had since I was with Flo..."_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes," she replies in earnest._

_"I think there's something that could make it even better..." he mumbles to himself._

_"Matt... Would you - um... would you like to... come inside?"_

_"I-I-I..."_

_"Just for a glass of wine... or-or a cup of tea or... something- "_

_"I love you!"_

_She stares at him as if she hasn't heard him properly._

_"I-I mean... um - I mean I'd love to...?"_

_"That's not what you said..."she shakes her head as she nervously replies._

_"No, you're right, it isn't," he decides to be honest, she deserves that after the way men have treated her in the past. "I do mean what I said though."_

_"You do?"_

_"I do."_

_"You-you..." she clears her throat as she feels tears prick at her eyes._

_"I love you."_

_"You love me," she repeats in a whisper._

_"I. Love. You."_

_~_

... I’ll never get used to him saying that; it _always_ feels like the first time.


	12. Twelve

Date: 12th December 2013

Mood: Lost

Listening to: White Christmas

Matt’s gone to visit his parents for the weekend, he left last night and won’t return until late tomorrow evening. I’ll miss him. I hate when he goes away. Or when I go away, when I leave for LA for a few weeks or even months, it’s torture to say goodbye.

~

_"I don't want you to go," Matt keeps a hold of Alex's hand so she can't leave._

_"I know, darling, I don't want to go either- "_

_"Then don't!"_

_"I have to- "_

_"Do you really?"_

_"Salome needs to see her mother, sweetie, and I honestly really need to see her too. I miss my baby."_

_Matt drops her hand, silently giving her permission to leave, lowering his eyes in sorrow. "I know, I understand. But I'm gonna miss_ my _baby."_

_Alex just looks at him longingly._

_"_ You _, Alex. You're 'my baby' in this scenario," he reiterates._

_"I know that, you silly man," she chuckles, thankful that he's managed to lighten the mood once again; she loves him for that. "I'll miss you, too. You know I will."_

_"I know."_

_"I always do!"_

_"I know..."_

_"I wish you could come with me, darling," she takes his hand in hers, the other running fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. "Salome would love to see you, I'm sure."_

_"But I still have work to do, Alex..."_

_"Yeah- "_

_"Else I would be on that plane beside you in a nanosecond - no holds barred."_

_She rises on her toes and kisses him for all she's worth. "I know you would, sweetie."_

_"How long are you gone for?"_

_"A little less than a month- "_

_"A_ month _!?!"_

 _"_ Less _than a month," she protests._

_"How am I going to live without you?"_

_She softens at that. "You'll survive, sweetheart." She kisses him once more in farewell before turning from him to fetch her bags._

_"I don't think I will," he sulks._

_"Don't worry, sweetie, I'll phone you every night before bed - and I won't be expecting any PG-13 bedtime story," she winks at him._

_"I won't let you down," he fires back._

_"I love you," she replies as she looks back at him._

_"I love you, too." He watches her walk out his door to the taxi on the street and they continue to watch each other until she turns the corner out of sight._

_~_

... I miss him already.


	13. Thirteen

Date: 13th December 2013

Mood: Delicate

Listening to: I Wish it could be Christmas Everyday

I told you he’d left, I didn’t tell you about his departure.

~

_"No! No, no wait - don't go! Not yet," Alex runs after him with their shared advent calendar that Salome had bought them, giggling as she tries to open door number '11'. "You need to help me with this chocolate - if you're not going to be here for three days, you need to eat your share now."_

_"Alex," he chuckles, hand on the front door knob, "I have to go!"_

_"No! You don't, just... eat one - here," she raises a tiny piece of chocolate as if to feed it to him, then pulls it away._

_"Oi!"_

_"Kiss me first."_

_He pecks her on the lips and, temporarily satisfied, Alex rewards him with the chocolate, before eating one herself._

_"Thanks love," he leans in and pecks her on the lips again. As he pulls back, he thinks better of it and surges in again to taste the chocolate on her lips. She melts into him and he lets the door go, burying his hands in her rebellious curls._

_As they part, she pulls out one more piece of chocolate, holding it up like it's a precious jewel as she tosses the calendar on the hall table._

_"Another one?" Matt squeaks._

_"Three days. Three chocolates." she states._

_"Oh I see, well in that case- "_

_She places the chocolate between her lips, cutting him off as he thought she was going to give it to him. She giggles naughtily._

_"Two can play that game," he threatens her playfully before capturing her around the waist and locking lips with her once more. A kind of mini tug-of-war ensues between them with the chocolate in the centre. When lips don't seem mighty enough, the teeth sink in and they both laugh heartily as the chocolate cracks down the middle and they stumble apart._

_"You've got a bit on your... hold on- " Alex cuts herself off as she leans up and licks away the chocolate at the corner of Matt's mouth, then, before she's sunk down off her toes, he turns his head and his mouth finds hers for a passionate kiss._

_She pecks his lips again, twice, as they part. Licking her lips, breath slightly ragged, she decides to let him go._

_"I'll see you soon, Alex," he smiles, leaning in one more time for a soft kiss as he tucks her hair behind her ear._

_"I'll miss you," she replies._

_"I'll miss you, too."_

_"Wait!" She reaches out to him and with the slightest touch on his shoulder he spins back around and whisks her off her feet, arms wrapped round her waist as he lifts her off the floor and kisses her fervently._

_"I really have to go now, Alex," he tells her._

_"I know. Goodbye, darling."_

_"Bye, Alex."_

_He walks through the door and starts down the drive to his car._

_"...Matt?"_

_"Oh alright," he drops his bag with enthusiasm and runs back up her steps, "just one more."_

_He kisses her with everything he's got, hands cradling her face; both of them desperate to show each other how they feel, and to remember the sensations that run through them when the other is in their arms, before they part._

_~_

... It’s the same every time we leave each other – always just one more kiss.


	14. Fourteen

Date: 14th December 2013

Mood: Horny :P

Listening to: Driving Home for Christmas

I phoned Matt last night to let him know how much I miss him. Sal misses him too, of course. But Sal’s out at a Christmas sleepover party with her friends tonight so as soon as he walks through that door I will show him exactly how much I’ve missed him.

Like I have done many times before...

~

_"Alex? I'm ho-ome..." Matt calls out as he walks through the door, dropping his heavy bag in the hallway and kicking off his shoes. "Ale-ex?"_

_She can hear him wandering through the flat; to the bathroom - it has been a long journey, to the kitchen - he pours himself a drink, back to the hall - to move his suitcase. She hasn't got all day and she has been waiting here a little longer than she expected to; a woman's libido doesn't last forever, you know._

_He finally stumbles through the bedroom door, kicking it shut behind him as he shoves the suitcase across the floor._

_"Hello, sweetie," Alex purrs from her knees on the end of the bed. He almost drops his glass in shock, instead dropping his jaw and widening his eyes in awe. "Welcome home," her voice is like melted chocolate._

_He gulps and without taking his eyes from her body he places the glass on a bedside table and kicks the suitcase into the corner of the room before changing speed and stripping, hurriedly._

_"What do you think you're doing?" she cries out, aghast. "No, no, no! Come here."_

_He immediately stops what he's doing and falls to his knees in front of her. She chuckles and runs her fingers through his hair._

_"I missed you," he whispers._

_"And I missed you," she replies, hands cupping his jaw as she draws him up off his knees and over her on the bed as she leans back, "like you have no idea." He needs little encouragement to lean down and kiss her - it's been too long._

_"_ Now _you can take those clothes off," she lets him up and watches him hungrily as he strips. She is only in a new pair of lacy black underwear; hence his staring before, but that soon meets with his clothing on the floor and she is all over him._

_He is helpless to resist her._

~

... And I am always helpless to resist him.


	15. Fifteen

Date: 15th December 2013

Mood: Cherished

Listening to: Santa Claus is coming to Town

Matt has always been a morning person, which is good 'cause he can now get me out of bed when I don’t want to. But I have never been a morning person, I much prefer the evenings and nighttime. He has coaxed me out  from the covers at ungodly hours of the morning to watch the sunrise in the past, but today we went out for dinner and stayed out to watch the sun set over the park.

He held me in his arms, my back to his front, as the sun got lower and the sky changed colours; pink to red to amber and orange, a purple hue to the few remaining clouds as the sun finally said goodnight.

It was so beautiful!

He told me it was the second most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Soppy romantic. I laughed and swatted him for it, but inside I could feel myself melting.

... I have never felt more cherished.


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the following are quite short diary entries but I hope you like them all :)
> 
> Enjoy x

Date: 16th December 2013

Mood: Cosy

Listening to: Merry Christmas to You

Sal still has a bit of a cold so we stayed in and watched movies, snuggled on the sofa with hot chocolate and blankets in our pyjamas all day. I feel like I’m finally _home_ ; with my family.

... I’m so happy, my face aches from smiling.


	17. Seventeen

Date: 17th December 2013

Mood: Cute

Listening to: Rockin' Robin

He kept kissing me on the end of the nose yesterday, as Sal was around us the whole time and he didn’t want to ‘gross her out’ – his words, not mine – by kissing me properly.

I remember the first time he kissed the end of my nose, apparently I was so cute, scrunching it up in shock and protest that he just had to do it again!

~

_"I'm sorry, Matt," Alex apologises meekly as they head back to set, "I didn't mean to- "_

_"It's alright, love," Matt smiles calmly, tucking a stray curl behind Alex's ear before cupping her jaw in his hand and dropping a gentle kiss to the end of her nose._

_She scrunches it up, shaking her head and leaning away from him._

_"_ That _is adorable," he giggles._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You," he explains, "wrinkling your nose up like that."_

_"Well don't kiss my nose then."_

_"No chance!" he chuckles, "Your reaction is priceless, I'll be forever kissing your nose now I know how cutely you react."_

_"I'm anything but cute, Matt."_

_"You have no idea," he kisses the end of her nose again, chuckling in delight as she scrunches it up again, this time glaring at him playfully._

_~_

... He still does it, just to see my reaction one more time.


	18. Eighteen

Date: 18th December 2013

Mood: Tranquil

Listening to: Sleigh Ride

Flo called today to check the presents he’d sent over had arrived. Whenever I hear his voice it reminds me of the good times we used to have together, with our baby girl; and I thought of Christmasses past. I was still crying over photo albums when Matt arrived home and he silently pulled me into his arms.

He’s great like that, he seems to know exactly what I’m thinking and how to calm me. It’s happened before, I’m embarrassed to say, and he just holds me tight and promises me the world and I cling to him for dear life.

... I do miss my life with Flo sometimes, but I wouldn’t change what I’ve got now for all of time.


	19. Nineteen

Date: 19th December 2013

Mood: Proud

Listening to: Run Run Rudolph

Apologies if my writing appears a little tipsy this evening, we attended the Doctor Who Christmas Party tonight. Anybody who is anybody was there. Matt’s final goodbye to the world of Who – although not really; Steven will write him in again for surprise appearances, I am sure, and Matt will agree with the drop of a hat.

I was very proud of him today.

As I was when he originally made the decision to ‘cut the cord’ and leave Doctor Who...

~

_"Why have you brought me here, Matt?" Alex asks calmly as she tries to steer him back on topic as they push their empty plates to the edge of the table and order another round of drinks._

_She watches him carefully as he sighs, sitting back in his chair and running a hand through his hair._

_"It's okay," she assures him, a tender hand resting over his on the table, "you know you can tell me anything."_

_"I know," he nods, thanking the waiter for his drink and taking a few large gulps before pushing on. "I-er... I think it's my time..." he says slowly, spinning his glass around and not lifting his eyes from the bubbly liquid._

_"Your time?" She confirms. "For what, darling?"_

_"To leave the show," he states just above a whisper before raising the glass to his lips again._

_Alex's gasp is barely audible as her heart jumps in her chest. She joins him in taking a drink. "Are you sure, Matt? That's a monumental decision."_

_"I know it is!"_

_"You've considered what may happen once you actually make the decision to leave 'Doctor Who'?"_

_"I have. I just know that, as much as I love 'Doctor Who' and, of course, the people I work with, I just think it's my time - you know - I need to get out and do something else before I get typecast or anything."_

_"That's sensible," she smiles, taking another sip of her wine._

_"You think?"_

_"I do, darling," she nods encouragingly. "It sounds like this isn't the first time you've thought about leaving- "_

_"No! I've been thinking about it for months, but I want to be sure the timing's right."_

_"Of course."_

_"And to make absolutely certain that this is the right thing for me to do, before I tell Steven."_

_"He doesn't know?"_

_"No."_

_"Matt- "_

_"I wanted to ask you first."_

_"Ask me what, darling?"_

_"Whether you think it's the right thing for me to do?"_

_Alex gazes at him for a while, thinking over her answer. Of course she'd be sad for him to go, but he is right in considering leaving before he's typecast. He still has so much potential as an actor. And now he's known, thanks to 'Who', he could go on to do almost anything at this point in his life. But in the end it must be his decision._

_"I think," she shuffles forward in her seat, clasping both his hands in hers, "that you are right to be thinking about these things. But it's not my place to tell you whether or not to leave the show, darling. You have to make that decision yourself."_

_"Yeah..." he breaks their eye contact._

_"If you've been considering it for a while now, you've weighed up the pros and cons and you still feel in your heart that it is time, then I would say you're right in making the decision to leave."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"No one can play the Doctor forever."_

_"True," he smiles and squeezes her hand as he thinks._

_They lean back away from each other in their seats, feeling a weight lifted and a subtle, positive shift in their relationship._

_"I think I'll talk to Steven next week then," he resolves,  breaking the comfortable silence._

_"I'm so proud of you," she tells him without even thinking before the words are out of her mouth._

_"Are you?" he glances up in surprise._

_"Yes, darling. I've always been proud of you. You've come on so far as an actor, and a person, during your time on the show. And to be able to make this kind of decision on your own..."_

_"I'm not making it on my own," he frowns, "You've helped me. And I've spoken to my family, of course."_

_"Yes, but they're not making the decision, honey. It's your life; your career - your decision. No one else can make it for you."_

_"Yeah I guess."_

_"Either way," she concludes, "I'm very proud of you."_

_~_

... It's always hard to invite change into your life, no matter how good you may think it'll turn out.


	20. Twenty

Date: 20th December 2013

Mood: Submissive

Listening to: Rockin' Around the Chritmas Tree

We had just placed all the presents under the tree ready for Christmas today, when a tickle fight between Matt and Sal ensued. Somehow I got dragged into it; all I heard was a breathy ‘But Mommy hasn’t been tickled’ and without warning, just as I was innocently walking through the living room, having placed lunch on the table, Matt tackled me to the ground and they both pounced on me. Sal tickled my knees and I could just about stand that, but Matt – _god ­_ – he knows exactly where to place his fingers on my ribs to get me screaming with laughter before I find I can’t breathe.

 They’re naughty little elves, the both of them.

He pecked a sweet kiss to my lips in apology after finally relenting, before attacking Sal again; but it reminded me of an amazing time when he turned my giggles to moans.

... He's awfully good at that.


	21. Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!! :D x

Date: 21st December 2013

Mood: Blessed

Listening to: Walking in a Winter Wonderland

‘Mommy, Matty, it’s snowing!’ was the loud, excited squeal we woke up to this morning as Sal thundered into our room and flung the curtains wide. I groaned and rolled over, pulling the covers over my head. Matt just dropped a kiss in my hair in understanding and rolled out of bed in his Christmassy pyjamas, ruffling Sals hair before suggesting they dress up warm and spend the day making snowmen – that made me smile, I’ll join them as soon as I finish writing this.

His excitement reminds me of the first time I was around Matt when it snowed...

~

_Alex and Matt were on the Tardis set with Karen and Arthur, listening to the director's notes between takes, when one of the runners came up to them all with a warning._

_"It's snowing quite heavily now, I've been asked to warn you in case you want to send everyone home early whilst we can still drive in it."_

_"Snowing!?!" Matt squeals before grabbing Alex's shoulders. "Alex, did you hear? It's snowing!" He spins on his heels, flapping his hands towards the director in an attempt to ask him to pause filming for a moment while he looks; but he can't seem to speak in his excitement._

_"I'd better go after him," Alex gives the director an understanding look and leaves the set; Karen and Arthur close behind her._

_"Alex, look at it," Matt runs outside in awe, kicking through the snow that has settled before turning with his arms outstretched and his tongue hanging out._

_"That's an interesting way to catch snowflakes, darling," Alex humours him._

_"It's so pretty!"_

_"Indeed it is," she sighs. Then she gets an idea. Using his distraction to her advantage, she stoops down and scoops up a handful of snow, clumping it into a light ball before aiming, and firing._

_"Hey!" Matt splutters as the snowball hits him on the shoulder, hurriedly glancing round to find Alex trying to hide her giggles behind her hand. "You'll pay for that, Kinsgton."_

_She screams as Matt scoops up more snow and comes after her, running away; but not fast enough. Matt grabs her round the waist and shoves the freezing snow down the back of her neck._

_"Ooh Matt, you ghastly man," she shakes her collar to get rid of the snow that's not currently melting on her skin._

_Matt's already scooting off across the snow, scooping up more snow and piling it all together. "Come on, Kingston. Let's make a snowman!"_

~

... Bless him. He's just a big kid inside.


	22. Twenty-Two

Date: 22nd December 2013

Mood: Excited

Listening to: Santa Baby

Apparently I find fires rather erotic. I couldn’t resist him when we went camping at the beginning of the summer, sitting round the campfire, roasting marshmallows; as soon as the first people started to head to bed, I promptly dragged him by the hand, back to our tent, and I’m sure the rest of the campsite knew exactly what we proceeded to do, judging by the amused looks we received the next morning.

Then on the 5th November we went to a Bonfire and Fireworks night – I could barely keep my hands off him. It was cold and a little wet out and Sal was standing right by the fence to the bonfire with her friend, so I slipped my hands inside Matt’s jacket to warm them up and he ended up wrapping me up in his jacket with him, his arms around my waist as my back pressed to his chest. That night I warmed my cold hands on his warm skin; and if he shivered at my touch, he never complained.

This evening, Sal was in her room on the phone to a friend for an awfully long time – not that I minded as it gave me more alone time with Matt. The fireplace was roaring and we had scented candles around the living room, making the place smell Christmassy. The rest, as they say, was history!


	23. Twenty-Three

Date: 23rd December 2013

Mood: Wooed

Listening to: Jingle Bell Rock

Matt greeted me with another flower today. He does that. Every 23rd of the month he brings me a flower – always a yellow rose – to commemorate the day I actually agreed to become his ‘girlfriend’; 23rd January 2013.

It takes me back to that first flower he gave me...

~

_"Morning, gorgeous," Matt beams as he walks elatedly into his kitchen._

_"Good morning, darling," Alex replies smugly as she pours two orange juices, turning to face him. "What have you got there?"_

_"Alex," he begins, "You know... what we did last night..."_

_"No, what did we do last night?" she replies innocently, sipping her orange._

_"Well, I can give you a reminder, if you wish," he approaches her, his voice low and seductive._

_She giggles naughtily, "maybe later, I need something to eat to replenish my energy first."_

_"Oh dear, have I worn you out?" he asks cheekily._

_"Don't be silly."_

_"So, you_ do _remember what we did last night...?"_

_"Of course I do, darling. I don't think I'll be forgetting that easily."_

_"Well, does that make us - you know - a couple now?"_

_"A couple?"_

_"Please, Alex. Say you'll be with me? You know how much I care for you. And we had so much fun yesterd- "_

_"Yes."_

_"Yes?"_

_"Yes! Let's try it."_

_"You'll be my girlfriend?"_

_"Yes, I'll be your - wait, only if you don't call me that again- "_

_"Alex, you've made me the happiest man in England," he finally presents the gift from behind his back. "This is for you."_

_"Oh, Matt, it's beautiful," she takes the little yellow rose from him and smells it softly before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him._

_"It reminded me of you," he says quietly, "beautiful, bright, happy, charming- " She cuts him off with her lips on his once more. She could get used to this._

~

... I am secretly looking forward to our anniversary; if he gives me a flower after every month, what’ll he give me after a full year?!?


	24. Twenty-Four

Date: 24th December 2013

Mood: Naughty

Listening to: I saw Mummy kissing Santa Claus

We got caught!

It’s almost midnight, so I’ll make this quick.

I don’t mean to shatter any illusions, but, Matt decided he would be the one to go downstairs once Salome was definitely asleep and fill our stockings – he even insisted on getting a Santa outfit so he could really feel the part. This meant I could just sleep and have enough energy to deal with Sal’s excitement tomorrow.

Good plan!

Except, I couldn’t sleep – as soon as I felt him rise from the bed I had to follow him to see what he looked like dressed as Santa; I couldn’t resist. I crept downstairs after him, to find him sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the fireplace, admiring the stockings and the Christmas tree and devouring the mince pie and sherry Salome had left out for Santa.

My giggle gave me away and he discarded the last bite of pie, advancing on me and pulling me into him by the waist of my red, silk night-dress. “Hello Santa,” I smirked and bit my bottom lip; a trick I know well to lure him in. And sure enough it worked. His eyes darkened and he crashed his lips to mine, making a low approving sound that, mixed with the taste of pie and sherry and _him_ , sent a shock of pleasure straight through me. I felt him reacting similarly against my stomach and I pulled back, breathless. “Oh, _Santa_...” Needless to say there wasn’t much talking after that, as he pushed me down onto the sofa beneath him.

Fortunately, though, we were both still clothed when, at the next moment, a little gasp came from the doorway and we startled at the shocked little voice coming from Salome. “Mommy!” Matt didn’t help matters by burying his face in my hair and chuckling. “Why are you kissing Santa?”

Everything was alright once we’d explained that ‘Santa’ was indeed Matt and that he had received a phonecall from Santa asking him to help him out and that is why he was dressed like Santa and filling our stockings with presents – the presents Santa had sent him specially, to give ‘the good little Kingston girl’ the best Christmas ever.


	25. Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a very merry Christmas!  
> Here's the last chapter for you :)
> 
> Enjoy! x

Date: 25th December 2013

Mood: Happy, Warm, Loved and _drunk!_

Listening to: Merry Christmas Everyone

Salome wouldn’t let me kiss Matt today – it’s Christmas day, a time for loved ones to come together and rejoice, I wanted to kiss him and he, quite obviously, wanted to kiss me. But every time we tried to steal a kiss when she wasn’t looking she would notice and tell us off.

“You kissed plenty last night,” she told us, “and I don’t want to have to see that again.”

We gave in and just sat close to one another, enjoying the other’s proximity and sharing hugs as we unwrapped the presents we’d bought each other.

We had a marvellous day, with Christmas music, unwrapping presents, a huge roast dinner – made by yours truly – and playing games all afternoon. We watched the Christmas episode of Doctor Who; and then spent the next half an hour cheering Sal up as she cried at Matt’s regeneration. And all in all we were exhausted but full of joy by the end of the day.

“Good night my beautiful girl,” I wished Sal to sleep well and she hugged me and Matt before glancing over my shoulder at something behind me, smiling and stepping inside her room. I looked over my shoulder and beamed; silly really, I just thought she was so sweet to have done this. She’d pinned a twig of mistletoe up in the centre of our bedroom doorway and, of course, she’d told us earlier, the only time we are allowed to kiss today is if we find ourselves under any mistletoe, of which, she proceeded to exclaim in delight, we have none.

“Sal?” Matt questioned as he too spied the mistletoe.

“I think so,” I smiled taking one step back so that I was standing directly under it.

He wasted no time in joining me and kissing me until my knees were weak.

“I’ve missed kissing you.”

I hummed in approval, “Care to show me how much?” I quirked an eyebrow before fisting my hand into his obscene Christmas jumper and pulling him into our room, tripping over each other’s feet until we fell on the bed and he truly made love to me until we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

I woke up at midnight with a huge smile across my face and warmth in my heart and had to write this down before I forgot it – although, I don’t think I’ll ever forget; and hopefully we’ll be together for years to come and Matt and Salome can remind me of this perfect feeling _every_ moment, of every day, for the rest of forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are wonderful but comments even better! :D x  
> ~*~ MERRY CHRISTMAS ~*~


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